It was one beautiful Sunday, that I had wished for so long after being piled up with tons of workload throughout the month; even without any mercy for the weekends. Yes, It does happen at times and that’s when I literally remember the phrase “Life has this habit of giving you a Bang” and that too out of nowhere. And, It was now my turn to have a go at the bang. With tasks nearing the completion and dates approaching the month end all that I had aspired for was that “One Sunday” to ease out my stress. And at last, the day had arrived within a wink.
Clearing out all the tasks that were assigned to me, I had reached my room on Saturday by around 9. And, that was by far the earliest time I had reached my room. Being frustrated for the whole week, I had decided to enjoy the next day (i.e Sunday) as if it was my last day. I switched on the TV to swap a series of music channels, with the music turning out to be my lullaby I slept the whole night in the couch.
Soon, the Sun had its reflection gazing at me for a while and as a result of which I had to wake up. As I woke up, I could sense the sounds of Church Bells ringing for a while and that’s when I realized it was the most awaited Christmas to the party. I wasn’t aware of the date until then, yes it was the 25th of December, 2008. On a positive note early in the morning, I decided to spend the rest of the day as worthy as I could. After having an early bath, I sat down for a cup of coffee with my favourite novel – “Things Fall Apart”. With every single sip of coffee, I consumed some four to five lines of Broken Love. At one point of time, the sips stopped while the lines never. I read the book for an hour and more without a drop in my patience level. Time flew soon only until I had a look at the clock to see both the needles nearing 9. I was almost hungry by then, with the bookmark on I paused my reading for a while to cook some not so delicious food. Yes, my cooking was so awful that none could even taste it, but then bachelors had to deal with their lives this way.
Having two omelettes out of the fridge with a pack of Bread, I shifted my focus to the kitchen and on some cooking. Within a short span of fifteen minutes, the breakfast was done and dusted. And, to be frank, it tasted awesome unlike before and even now am clueless of the magic. Once after having my breakfast, I carried on with the usual routine of calling up my ever sweet mom.
Tring, Tring, Tring, Tring She picks up – Hello, who’s this? Me: Maaaa, this is me Rohit.. How are you? Mom: With a million dollar smile.. Haaaaa Rohit Just now I was wondering of your call.. How are you, my Son?
The conversation lasted for a while until my dad arrived in the conversation.
Dad: In a stern voice, Rohit, How are you? Me: Yaa Dad, Am fine and how about you? Dad: Everything is fine here, take care of your health. The bill is piling up, I’ll cut the call Saying so he hung the call. Me: Helloo, Helloo, Dad.. I couldn’t even say a Bye to my Mom,
It was like fourth or the fifth time Dad repeated this on a row, with every time myself and mom being disappointed the most. I never spoke with my Dad much, to be frank, most of my conversations were with my loving mom. She loved me the way no one else could and she was so proud of that as well. Taking this on a lighter note, I came back to the novel to have some good thoughts feeding my brain. As I was reading through those lovely pages, I had a call from an unknown number. At first, I thought it was from a customer care and so I neglected. But when it Rung the second time, I picked
Me: Hello, Who’s this? X: …….( Only silence prevailed) Me: I kept saying Hello, Who’s on the line? X: I heard some noise but never a hello. Me: I got a bit angry and asked in a stern voice, Who’s on the call? This is Rohit Here!! And at last, I heard it in a sullen voice X: Hi this is Reshma, do you remember me?
Now on hearing this, I stood stranded without a word to utter. I had a lot to convey but then words never came out. Memories went on a flash for a second, soon after which,
I said, Hi Reshu how are you? It’s been long na, what’s the matter? She replied, Am fine, could we meet up? Why don’t we have a conversation? I thought for a while before committing a Yes, where and when? She: Aksa beach at 11 o’clock. Is that fine? Me: Yes, will see you soon.
Having said so, I hung up the call & sat down on the couch with the Novel placed upside down. I had to reach out for a glass of water in the table; drank it, paused for a second and then stared at the shelf, where I could find this;
“Coffee mug; written in it – Love has no limits” I walked down the shelf to have a closer look at it. Having taken a cloth, I cleared off the dust particles to spell those words again “Love has no Limits”. By the time, my eyes got filled with those emotional tears that I had inside me for a long while. In fact, I hadn’t cried for quite some time but that one call made it happen again. Without much time to waste, I went to search for the shirt that Reshu had gifted me some long time back. That blue and black checked one, which is my favourite even now. Having dressed up neatly, I hired a cab to reach Aksa beach.
As I was travelling in the cab, I recollected all those wonderful memories that I had spent with her during my college days. Yes, all through the four years of Engineering I had learned nothing except about Reshma.
I never excelled in studies, had around 10 to fifteen arrears, but then I knew about Reshma a lot. I know her likes and dislikes. I knew her routines. I knew her favourites. I knew her heart. All that I studied throughout my Engineering degree was about Reshuu, my then sweetie. We had a wonderful bonding even in the initial days, we got to know one another better, we liked each other a lot, we fought a lot, we cried a lot. But then all these were the golden moments of my life that I happily cherish even now. I had never proposed to her, neither did she; but we both knew that we share a wonderful Love that everyone was jealous of. This lovely journey kept rolling until the final year, yes until that day when I first shouted the most unpleasant words at her, In fact, I doubted her for the first time when one of my friends told me that she was in a relationship with another guy.
As soon as I heard this, without thinking much I ran to her and asked those ill-words that no Girl would ever love to hear. I wasn’t aware of the truth neither did I went on to find it out. Spitting out a lot of poisonous words, I waved a goodbye for the final time and left the college on that day. That was when my friends had last seen me, I never went to college thereafter. It was only for those exams I had appeared. It was the day of our last exam when I decided to go and ask a sorry to Reshuu; one of her friends approached me to reveal that “Reshu liked Arun more than you, she thought of saying this to you but then all of a sudden you came and shouted at her”..
I wished if it was a lie, but never.. With these words in my ears, I walked back saying at her friend “Ask Reshuu to take care & also I’ll not be there to disturb her anymore”. Those were the final words that I remember even now….. As I was replaying all these incidents in my mind, there came this horn sound to take me back to the present. Soon the destination arrived. I got down from the taxi and kept walking towards the beach while having a view of the seashore..
As I reached a point, I thought of having a seat on the shores. I sat down slowly to watch out for the wonderful waves. As I was having this view, she had called me to check where I was exactly. She was also there at the beach, from distant I waved a “Hi” and she in turn as well. As she walked towards me, She had her head facing down unlike before. She came and sat beside me,
The initial few minutes were full of Silence… We didn’t talk anything, not even a word.. So, I decided to break the jinx..
Me: So, Reshuu, how are you? She: All good, and you? Me: Yup, Cool..
After which we had some mandated conversational exchanges, that everyone talks of when they meet a person after a long. We spoke a lot, we exchanged conversations. One among such conversation popped up our College Diaries and that was actually when words stammered. We couldn’t continue from then on, with multiple pauses and word corrections we couldn’t hang on to those memories.
Soon, I could sense tears running down her cheeks. I perceived that she felt guilty about those last days in college. She knew she had committed a mistake, unable to even utter a sorry then, she broke out totally on that day. She sincerely apologized a lot, and I knew it was true from her heart. I had consoled her for a while after which she was back to normal and this was when I asked her this question “Why this meetup all of a sudden?”. That’s when she took her phone out and showed me a guy’s pic. I asked her
Who’s this? She said this is the guy Mom and Dad had looked for me! Without much to utter, I took the phone from her and had a closer look at the photo. After which I said, The guy looks nice, so what have you decided.. She said, before telling them my answer I would want to know your thought. Me: Why me? It’s your life. You have to decide. So go ahead and tell them your choice. In a sullen voice, she asked me “Do you love me still?” This is an irrelevant question at this time, and moreover, I thought you would have closed our chapter, I said.. While she had this wonderful answer for me, You aren’t a chapter to be closed but then the one that everyone wishes to reread.
Saying so, She asked me – Will you marry me? While I said “You are asking a wrong question” Why is it so? I can convince my parents.. But, I said – You parents will get convinced, but I can’t convince myself. You marry the other guy.
She was shattered, I knew; she never expected this answer from me but I had to. What’s wrong with you, she shouted crying.. I want you back in my life. So, please.. She pleaded a lot. While I couldn’t change my decision. I said to her things aren’t the same anymore. Soon, she shot up asking So you don’t love me now?????.. Yes, I do but then that would not end up in a marriage.
She: You love me, but why don’t you want to marry me?? Answer this question.. He: There are certain things in Life, that we love a lot. We would even love to have it for ourselves but then one fine day you will realize it’s better to not own it. And, that’s not because you don’t love it anymore but you don’t want to disgrace its value by owning it.
You are a good soul, you have a value for yourself and so I don’t want to spoil it for the second time. Let you choose your wonderful destiny while mine is already taken by God. Hearing out these words, she hardly had anything to utter. Only tears sustained… Pointing towards the distant waves, I told her these words;
You could see those lovely and flamboyant waves in the distance, how beautiful it is.. But then they hardly reach the shores and that doesn’t make them ugly. Certain things seem beautiful when they are far away from us.. Uttering these last words… I left… Having a last look at her gloomy and sober face..
* I was sad but then not because I couldn’t marry her but that I lied to her; Yes I couldn’t reveal that I was married and divorced by then. Yes, I couldn’t love my wife the way I loved Reshuu and that was the first time I failed as a Man!!!
©Ragul Prakash
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